


Who Can Say?

by nekosd43



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Magic, Shipping If You Squint, Team as Family, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9303695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosd43/pseuds/nekosd43
Summary: After the pair have the terrible idea to get drunk and hang out, Taako finds himself and Magnus laying on the floor... talking.  They usually don't spend a lot of time talking like this.  This can only end poorly.  Can our boys get through the night with their friendship intact?Taako makes some changes.  Magnus gets his cuddle on.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine that this is some time after 11th Hour but before the Date with Death.

“So... anything?”

“Anything bubbale, provided I stay roughly the same shape and size.”

“So no dogs.”

“No dogs.”

Taako could almost hear the sound of Magnus thinking.  He had not been expecting the evening to go like this.  With Merle off the Moon on some sort of planetside errand, they had the dorm to themselves, and had immediately decided the best course of action was to purchase a lot of cheap alcohol at the Fantasy Costco and lock themselves in.  Originally they just planned to get really drunk and watch some shitty movies, but somehow they had veered off after the “get drunk” part.  Now they were laying on the large window in the living area floor and talking about magic.

It felt… weird.  But also good?  Taako was worried he wouldn’t be able to deal with 100% alone-with-Magnus time, but it had been mostly fine.  Magnus had a lot of questions, but answering got easier with each drink.  And while Taako wasn’t always thrilled to answer inane questions about basic magic, he couldn’t help but want to respond to whatever the fighter said, even if it _was_ dumb.  Now they had finished off all the booze, but there was still so much left for Magnus to wonder about.

Magnus pushed himself up on his elbows.  They were lying in opposite directions with their heads near each other, so when he sat up Taako could only see his back.  “That really doesn’t give you a lot to work with.”

He couldn’t help but laugh out loud.  “Sure, if you’re interested in being a fucking animal.  That’s a different spell dude.  This is just to make me look like other people.”

“Oh okay.  So _Alter Self_ is like…  wearing a disguise?”

“I mean, I could also use it to grow gills and claws and shit, but yeah.  Becoming someone else for an hour or so.”

“Cool…”

Magnus leaned his head back so that he was looking over his shoulder.  Taako followed his gaze to the floor.  Being on the glass made it look like they were floating over the clouds below.  Actually, technically they _were_ floating over those clouds.  The elf closed his eyes and folded his hands on top of his chest.  He could feel his face getting really flush.  A little too much drinking and laughing.  And awkwardness.  

“Do you do it a lot?”

Taako didn’t open his eyes.  “I mean, I did before I started working with you guys.  Party tricks.  Sometimes it helped me get work.  Sometimes it let me get out of it.”

“How come you don’t do it so much anymore?”

“Because it’s a fucking pain in my ass?” Taako said, eyes flying open.  “Do you know how _exhausting_ it is to be someone else for an hour?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Magnus conceded, laying back down so his head was next to Taako’s.  He felt the slightest hint of sideburn brush past him.  “I guess I’m just like…  If I could use magic, I’d do it all the fucking time, you know?”

“Literally not possible,” Taako grinned, “Like, there are rules and shit.  Laws of nature.”

“Dip,” Magnus sighed, “Yeah I guess that’s true.  Spell slots.”

Taako rolled his head so that he was looking at Magnus.  He was staring up at the ceiling, with a far away look.  Before he had met Magnus he had literally never thought what it must feel like to not do magic.  Magic, for better or worse, was his life.  He’d been using it since he was old enough to comprehend it.  It had kept him alive.  He couldn’t imagine living a life where you couldn’t just… change things.  Make things happen.  It was a part of his being.

“Hey do you think you could show me?” Magnus asked, finally turning to face Taako.  They locked eyes for a second, then Taako burst out laughing.

“After I just got done telling you how much work it is?!?” he laughed.

“I know but…  Dude I just want to see!  Like, I’ve seen you change and shit before but not like… up close?  What does it look like up close?”

“I promise you, it’s not that exciting,” he sighed, wiping the edge of his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“No please!  I want to see!  I’ll pay you back!  Whatever you want!”

“Whoa, whatever I want, huh?” Taako mused on it for a bit.  “I don’t know dude, you know I’ll pick out the most expensive thing at Fantasy Costco.”

“Dude I am willing to haggle with Garfield.  I will give him my sideburns if that’s what it fucking takes.  I just _really_ want to see it.”

Taako looked again at Magnus and realized what was happening.  Magnus was _really_ drunk.  Way drunker than he had previously thought.  His whole face was red, and he could see that redness spreading down his neck.  He was probably one of those guys that blushed with his whole body, which made sense given how hot he tended to run.  Personally, Taako felt himself get a little greener, but he could barely begin to process that when Magnus suddenly burped in his face.

“S’cuse.” Magnus said sheepily, his face somehow managing to turn even brighter red.

“Okay you know what?” Taako said, sitting up, “Fuck it.”  He crossed his legs and leaned forward so that his face was over Magnus.  “Who should I turn into?”

Magnus sat up so quickly that they almost collided.  He spun around and got seated, cross legged, across from Taako.  “Really?!”

“Yeah go for it, my dude,” Taako said.  Magnus’ brown eyes lit up in a way Taako had only seen him do when he saw a dog.  It was hilarious, adorable, and just a little bit intimidating.  He was staring so intensely, and Taako wasn’t sure if he loved the attention or wanted to recoil from it.  He decided to close his eyes again so he wouldn’t have to think about it.

“Okay do Avi!” Magnus cried.

Taako held both of his hands together in front of his chest, balled into fists.  Then, after extending his pointer fingers, he twisted his wrists so the two fingers pointed away from each other.  “ _Ahime-hrondo_ ,” he said, trying not to feel silly.  He then twisted his wrists again, and alternated the position of his hands, moving the closer one further and vice versa without separating them.  It was then that the change began.

It was slow at first.  His face thinning out, his nose retreating back toward his face, his skin slowly changing from it’s usual green to a coppery brown.  Mangus sat dumbstruck as Taako’s hair darkened and curled up (so much so that his hat slipped off his head).  It was really something up close.  Once the basic structure of Avi’s face was in place, the rest of the details filled in quickly.  The shape of his nose, the small jut in his chin, the way his ears pressed close to his face (not at all like Taako’s), the small scar on the corner of his mouth that made it look like he was always smirking.  All told it took about ten seconds, and then Magnus found himself sitting across from a near perfect Avi.  Near perfect because…

“What do you think?” Taako asked and, yup.  That was definitely Taako’s voice.  Opening his eyes, he raised his hand to examine his nails and made a disgusted face.  “Ugh.  I know he bites these, but would it kill him to have a _little_ pride in his appearance?”  Taako gestured with his other hand, and Avi’s nails grew out until they were long and pointed, much like the way Taako kept his.

“Oh wow!” Magnus started to applaud.

Taako blushed a little.  It had been awhile since his magic had resulted in _that_ reaction.  He was surprised how much he had missed it.

“So you can keep changing things?” Magnus asked.

“For about an hour, yeah,” Taako shrugged, “I’m basically like fantasy play-dough right now.”

“Oh!  Oh!  Do the Director!”

Taako waved his hand again and Magnus watched in awe as his hair greyed and pulled closer to his head.  His eyes narrowed and his face thinned even more with age.  This went even quicker than the first time, and Magnus once again found himself looking at a near-identical replica of someone he knew.

“Oh yeah,” Taako said, once again examining his new, thin, delicate hands, “Thank you for picking someone who actually knows how to groom themselves properly.”

“Can you do me?”

“Seriously dude?” Taako rolled his eyes and put his hand down.  “You and I are not even close to the same shape.”

“What?!” Magnus cried.

“You’re all,” Taako made a triangle in the air with his fingers, point facing down. “And I’m all,” he reversed the triangle so the point was at the top.  “We’re not balanced right.”

“Can you at least try?”

He couldn’t believe how disappointed Magnus sounded.  Taako rolled his eyes yet again, so hard that it felt like they might roll out of his head, and made the transformation gesture one more time.

He could feel that he got pretty close.  His shoulders weren’t as broad and he was a little pudgier in the middle, but he knew it looked perfect in the face from the expression on Magnus’.  Magnus could probably use him as a mirror, he was so sure of his work.

“That... is the fucking coolest shit I have ever seen,” Magnus said, leaning in to examine Taako closely.  A little too closely.  He could actually feel Magnus’ hot breath on his face.  It smelled like ale.  “Are my eyebrows really that crazy looking right now?”

“Listen my dude, you are a manscaping disaster,” Taako replied with a grin, allowing Magnus to see that he had even managed to shift the gap in his own teeth to the side, right to where Magnus was missing one of his own.

“Nice attention to detail,” he laughed.

“Fuck you I’m an artist,” Taako cried, “This shit is _easy_ .  Making someone I’ve spent so much time around-” he paused, realizing what that statement might sound like.  “It’s much harder to create someone you _haven’t_ seen before.”

“Could we do _that_?” Magnus asked, completely missing the stumble.  Bless his soul, he was too excited to notice anything.

“Sure my man, give me some features.”

Magnus closed his eyes with a grin.  “I’ll make a person in my head and then we’ll see how close you get.”

They sat in silence a little longer than Taako wanted.  He imagined that Magnus was thinking hard about this, but he just had to name some features?  He could just randomly say things and Taako would do it.  Did it really require this much though?  He started to feel himself getting hot again.  This wasn’t at all going how he thought it would.

“Um…” Magnus broke the silence at last, “Dark skin, darker than Avi’s.  Long black hair, super straight.  It’s in a braid…”

“The magic doesn’t braid hair,” Taako said with relief, making the motion with his hand to begin the transformation.

“Oh yeah…” He sounded disappointed.  “Well it’s like, waist length?  And she’s got-”

“Ah so it’s a _woman_ I’m doing, that would be pretty important information, Mango.”

He smiled faintly.  “Yeah, she’s got hazel eyes.  Can you do that?”

“Child’s play.”

“What else…”  Another excruciating pause.  “She’s soft like you.”

“Fuck you.”

“No I mean she’s got your body type, just her arms are a little more muscular.  And her face is just a little bit... rounder?  And she’s got like… a really wide nose…”

“Am I going to get, like, a bust size for Magnus’ dream girl or -”

Magnus’ eyes shot open and he gasped.

For the first time tonight, the color drained from Magnus’ face.  He looked like he had been kicked in the stomach.

Taako’s face fell.  “Did I do something wrong?”

“She…” Magnus closed his eyes again, tight, “She has freckles.”

Taako reached a hand out and touched Magnus lightly on the shoulder.

“Who am I right now?”

Magnus twitched at the touch, but then shook his head.  “You said it yourself.   _Magnus’ dream girl_.”  Taako recoiled when he realized that Magnus was tearing up.  This wasn’t at all where he saw this going.

“Holy shit dude, I’m sorry!  Did I make her ugly or-”

Magnus leaned forward and enveloped him into an embrace.  It was smothering, Magnus pressed him so close to his chest that he felt like he might be crushed.  They stayed there like that for a few minutes, silent.  Taako was afraid to move, afraid to say anything.  This was not where he was expecting this goof to go.  He had messed this up somehow, things had gone absolutely wrong.  He could feel Magnus bury his face into his shoulder, pressing it into the unbraided hair he had asked for.  His face was wet, his breathing was heavy.  After it felt like an eternity had passed, Magnus laughed weakly.

“You smell like baked goods.  Not like her at all.  That’s … pretty much my only complaint”

“So… I... did okay then?”

Magnus leaned back but kept his hands gripped on Taako’s shoulders.  He stared deeply into his eyes, and for a moment Taako forgot that he wasn’t himself.  The way Magnus looked at him now… he had never seen it before.  So soft and warm, he couldn’t help but be a little overwhelmed.

“Who is she?” he whispered.

Magnus averted his gaze.  He started to run his fingers through Taako’s new black hair.  

“Someone I haven’t seen in a long time.”

“Bad breakup or-”

“No… no she… she died.”

Taako pushed himself away from Magnus’ grasp.  “Oh fuck I am so sorry dude!”  He felt hot and embarrassed, like Magnus had shared something he wasn’t supposed to hear.  He was really drunk and this had gone too far.  Magnus would have never said this stuff on his own.  They didn’t do things like this.  They didn’t talk about… before.  “What were you _thinking_ man, this has to be the _worst_ for you?!”

“I just… wanted to see if I could remember what she looked like,” Magnus smiled weakly.  “Good news... haven’t forgotten her yet.”

Taako felt himself unclench, and realized he had been tensed up through his entire body.  He sighed.  It wasn’t as bad as it had felt.  Magnus was just an idiot.  He wasn’t the one who had done something wrong.  “You want me to change back now?”

Magnus furrowed his brow.  “No I…  I know it’s weird but… Can I braid your hair?  She loved it when I did that for her.”

Taako stared at Magnus.  This time it was his turn to break the silence.  “I’m not her.”

“I know.”

“This is Taako.”

“I know,” Magnus shrugged, “I just miss it.  I miss her.”

Taako stared a little longer at Magnus.

“I don’t want to, like, make you uncomfortable or anything,” Magnus said, staring at the floor again.  The clouds below them moved silently and Magnus seemed to get lost in them for a second.  “And I don’t want it to be weird or anything.  Like, I literally just want to braid your hair.  I want to… remember… what that felt like.”

They stared again at each other and the silence was deafening.  Then, with the hint of a smile, Taako rolled his eyes.  He turned and silently scooted back towards Magnus, flicking the long black hair behind his shoulder.

Magnus almost immediately started to gather it up, running his fingers through it carefully to untangle any knots that had formed.  His hands were huge, and his fingers were rough and callused, but they were skilled.  There was a craftsman’s touch to the way he worked.  Taako felt a tingle in his scalp, and relaxed his shoulders.  As long as they both knew this wasn’t real on some level… it was comforting.  Magnus got what he wanted and Taako… well he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t getting something he wanted too.  Attention, even if it was meant for someone else.

As Magnus parted Taako’s hair, he spoke.

“Thank you.”

He could feel himself blushing again.  He wasn’t used to this much praise and attention.  Thank gods he had his back to him.

“No problem bubbale, it’s not the weirdest request I’ve gotten while doing this.”

They sat in silence once again, the only sound the whisper of Magnus’ fingers moving his hair.  Taako wondered if he should say anything, ask Magnus how he was doing, but he decided to simply focus on the feeling of his fingers.  It felt good.  He hadn’t had someone do his hair in a long time.  Just no one he trusted enough to do it right.  Though his own hair was nowhere near as malleable as this new style he was sporting.  There was a reason he usually wore a hat.

“Her name is Julia,” Magnus suddenly said, passing hair over his fingers.

Taako looked down at the glass below them and for the first time caught sight of his reflection - her reflection.  “She’s pretty.”  Or, at least, the version he had made was; he didn’t _actually_ know if she looked like this, or if Magnus was just remembering her how he wanted to.  He supposed it didn’t really matter either way.

“We… I... “ Taako tried to not hear the way that Magnus’ breath hitched when he spoke.  He didn’t want to think about what this might feel like for him.  But maybe what he really needed was to talk about it.  Taako was certainly not good at talking about… all this.  But he was semi-decent at listening.

“Were you married?” Taako finally asked.

“For about a year.”

“I always figured you had been, since you wear a ring,” Taako mused, “but I guess I never actually thought about it, you know?”

Magnus’ hands froze for a second.

“She was my whole world.”

“And what about now?”

Another pause, and then he resumed braiding.

“We were a fairy tale, but I live in the real world now.”

He released Taako’s hair, and the elf reached his hand back to feel it.

“You weren’t kidding, you’re good at this,” he smiled.

“I had a lot of practice.”

Taako turned again to face him.  “There’s still some time left on the spell.  Do you want… anything else?”  He wasn’t exactly actually sure what he was asking.  A part of him hated seeing Magnus like this, but another part of him wanted to run out of the room and hide.  This whole situation felt… off.  Like it shouldn’t be happening, for so many different reasons.  But Magnus could and would do anything for him, every day.  He’d jump in front of harm’s way, and Taako hated and loved that about him.  Seeing him like this… he had never seen anything like it before.  Taako wanted to do something to make it disappear as the truth dawned on him.

 _Magnus rushes in_ because he couldn’t allow himself to lose anyone else.  

Magnus smiled, and his eyes were so sincere when he looked at Taako.

“Can we…  Can I just hug you?  Until the spell burns out or whatever?”

The sentimental idiot.  Without speaking, Taako leaned into Magnus and let himself be held.  He put all his weight into Magnus, and they sank back to the floor.  Taako laid his head on Magnus’ chest, and he watched the clouds below them for a while.  He listened quietly to the sound of the human’s heart as he felt Magnus hold on for dear life.  

This wasn’t real.  They both knew that.  But it might have been some comfort, to hold her again, real or otherwise.

One hand moved slowly in circles against Taako’s back, the other found itself entwining Taako’s fingers to hold his hand.  His giant hand dwarfed Taako’s, even in this altered state, and Taako was suddenly aware of the cold metal of Magnus’ ring.  He couldn’t believe he hadn’t put it together before.

And they lay there like that, silent, until Magnus drifted off.

The spell wore off in time, and Taako could feel himself changing back.  Magnus was still holding him, now on his side curling around him like blanket.  The man’s breathing was slow and quiet.  His arm was heavy on Taako’s chest, and he was so very _warm_.  

And in that moment, Taako felt like crying.  

He wasn’t totally sure why.  Maybe it was the ale, maybe it was the whole dead wife thing, maybe it was the fact that Magnus was _right there_ and he still felt so far away, maybe it was the realization that Magnus loved so deeply and he could barely imagine himself having friends.  How could compete with that level of affection?  He tried to inhale deeply, but it caught in his throat, and hot tears started building up in his eyes.  He felt like he was on the edge of a breakdown.

His quiet hitched breaths caused Magnus to stir.  Through sleepy eyes he looked at Taako, who was now just Taako.   _Great_ , now this was even worse.  Crying in his arms, and not having cleared out before he woke up.  He must look pretty pathetic now.  He felt flush again.

“I’ll go…” Taako whispered, trying not to let the tears out, “now that the spell wore off…”

Magnus shook his head and pulled Taako closer to him.

“Only if that’s what you _want_ to do.”

But he didn’t want to do that.  What he wanted was to stay like this, in his arms, with Magnus looking at him the way he looked at Julia.  No, he wasn’t Julia anymore… the way he looked at _him_.  Not like his love for her, just their own thing.  Being close.  Just being here, with him.  No one had ever given him this kind of attention before.  He couldn’t mess this up.

“Is it weird if I’m…” he paused, “I can cast the spell again if you want.”

Magnus hugged him even tighter.  “I’m... sorry I asked you to do that.  That wasn’t cool.”  Taako felt his hands balling up in Magnus’ shirt.  “You did a great job.  Thank you for the amazing gift you gave me, but she and I had our time.”  A pause, punctuated by Magnus’ hands squeezing Taako’s shoulder.  Taako suddenly found himself aware of just how quiet the dorm was.  “Right now, I’d like to spend time with my friend, Taako.”  

I’m sorry.  Great job.  Thank you.   _My friend_ .  It was the last thing he had been expecting to hear.  He was used to people wanting him to change to be what they wanted.  Hell, he was used to _changing_ for what people wanted.  This… this was something new.

“Besides, I believe I owe you something?” Magnus yawned.  “What should I pick you up next time I’m at the store?”

Taako took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes.  No more of this.  He deserved this man’s friendship.  He was allowed to enjoy this.  He was allowed to have friends.  He was allowed to feel something for these people.  If Magnus could do this than fuck it, so could he.  This _was_ real.

“I’d just like to stay here.  Until morning, at least,” he answered.  “Is… is that okay?”

Magnus was definitely falling asleep again.  He wrapped his arms around Taako again tightly and brought his forehead down to touch Taako’s.  “Sounds good, buddy.”

And as Magnus drifted off again, holding Taako against him, the elf couldn’t help but agree.

   

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVEN'T WRITTEN FAN FICTION SINCE I WAS 12 AND I'M ALMOST 30 SO PLEASE BE GENTLE.
> 
> I have a soft spot for Magnus/Taako, but they would be terrible for each other (not to mention Magnus is just NOT INTERESTED). But that doesn't mean they can't be good good cuddle boys. I JUST WANT THEM TO HUG OKAY. Also, confused and affection starved shapeshifters have a special place in my heart.


End file.
